Tamara
She left about 6:40 this morning back to Paris, if there were any delays I wouldn’t known.
About two days ago told (text her back would be more appropriate) that not fancy seeing her anymore, listening to her sour comments and ridicules questions. Amazingly didn’t heart half as much as I would predict it to. Small fulfillment after five months of trying make it work and taking all that shit, but what the hell! Always better than nothing.
Kasia (Kate)
Sent to hell the other of my ex-es, polish one. Called me up pissed as fuck, couldn’t really speak properly. Eventually when couldn’t get out from me what she was almost begging to hear stared blaming me for whatever’s possible, telling me how tired, confused and exhausted she is. And as my situation isn’t any perfect neither (unpaid credit card, phone bill, no job, 3.62 in my wallet) I’ve lost my patience really quickly and started expressing myself more properly... 40 minutes of her crying on the phone got me to conclusion... don’t call me, keep the fuck away from my, to many ex-es were fucking with my head past few months, don’t need you on top of it... so Farewell
My biggest problem is when it’s becoming to much, i just lose it, lose it all. Patience, any feeling and most of the time respect as well. And when I’ve lost it all my ex-es get really confused, think I’m playing a achieve something when the true is I don’t want anything at all.
Don’t blame them to be dizzy about it, considering that i can and will do anything to keep the women next to me when I feel for her (I’m ashamed how low I could get sometimes to keep someone) wouldn’t expect anyone to understand that my feelings left me completely over the night or just because she said something unimportant.
Until I looked on the clock and noticed that her train had to leave already felt little bit down. Finally today knowing that I wont see her or any other unless I agree to, and the distance is long enough feel... khm, relieved?
Hopefully now I’ll have head on the right place and be able to sort out more important issues, like a job that gives me food on the table... and bed, my own rented bed.
Yours Sincerely
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